As we age, our perspective changes on the reality of the inevitable aging process and the necessity for planning for the future years. Financial planning is essential; however, so is having the "conversation." What is the conversation that I am referring to? It is the exchange among family members that pertains to the wishes of the aging member(s) of your family. For example, what are your parents' wishes in regard to important issues such as assisted living and life support? Many adult children are unaware of what their parents want in regard how they wish to live their later chapters in their life's journey. Many adult children find themselves faced with such decisions during a time after an unexpected death, illness, injury or crisis has developed. During this time individuals are usually very emotional. They are often faced with uncertainty in regard to whether they are making the decision that "Mom, Dad or spouse" would have wanted. They can be overwhelmed with the fear and guilt of not really knowing if they are making the decision their loved one would have wanted.
Additionally, there is the issue of sibling relationships and whether all of the adult children agree on "what's best for" Mom or Dad. For example, one sibling may believe as a result of Dad's death, it is best to have Mom move into an assisted living facility. However, another sibling may believe it's best for Mom to remain in the family home with a few support services such as meal preparation. When siblings don't agree it can create conflict and hard feelings among family members that can have lasting effects.
There is an opportunity to avoid the uncertainty, fear and potential to upset family relationships while parents are in good health. Call a family meeting and sit down at the kitchen table with all of the family members (individuals out of state may wish to participate in person or via Skype) and recognize that these are important issues that need to be discussed. The purpose is to ensure that Mom/Dad/Spouse's wishes are specified, understood and implemented when the appropriate time arrives.
Death is a difficult topic for some to talk about. That's okay and I recommend you express your feelings accordingly at the family meeting referenced above. However, also acknowledge that it is important to have the Conversation to ensure that your loved ones' final phase of their life journey is what they expressly desired. This will allow the adult children to focus on enjoying time spent with family, including parents without a cloud of guilt, regret or uncertainty in regard to this issue.
If you feel that your family would benefit from an experienced professional who is available to inform, facilitate and support your family's efforts to have the conversation, please contact Behavioral Compass Group today at 860.470.3649. We look forward to working with you!
Let's talk about it…
Be well,
Beth
Additionally, there is the issue of sibling relationships and whether all of the adult children agree on "what's best for" Mom or Dad. For example, one sibling may believe as a result of Dad's death, it is best to have Mom move into an assisted living facility. However, another sibling may believe it's best for Mom to remain in the family home with a few support services such as meal preparation. When siblings don't agree it can create conflict and hard feelings among family members that can have lasting effects.
There is an opportunity to avoid the uncertainty, fear and potential to upset family relationships while parents are in good health. Call a family meeting and sit down at the kitchen table with all of the family members (individuals out of state may wish to participate in person or via Skype) and recognize that these are important issues that need to be discussed. The purpose is to ensure that Mom/Dad/Spouse's wishes are specified, understood and implemented when the appropriate time arrives.
Death is a difficult topic for some to talk about. That's okay and I recommend you express your feelings accordingly at the family meeting referenced above. However, also acknowledge that it is important to have the Conversation to ensure that your loved ones' final phase of their life journey is what they expressly desired. This will allow the adult children to focus on enjoying time spent with family, including parents without a cloud of guilt, regret or uncertainty in regard to this issue.
If you feel that your family would benefit from an experienced professional who is available to inform, facilitate and support your family's efforts to have the conversation, please contact Behavioral Compass Group today at 860.470.3649. We look forward to working with you!
Let's talk about it…
Be well,
Beth
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